10 Suggestions for Bishops/Leadership interacting with LGBTQ Members- David Doyle (part 2)

This is our continued conversation with David Doyle's about the list that he has created to help Bishops/Leadership navigate how to support their LGBTQ membership.  He has curated this list through his experience as an LDS LGBTQ member and someone who has had many interactions with Bishops, youth and stake leaders as he has served as a Stake Young Men's President and Stake Executive Secretary for many years. 

This will be a great resource to share with any LDS leader.

 

10 Suggestions for Bishops interacting with LGBTQ members

 

1) All LGBTQ members need a trusted adult in their life who loves, supports and sustains them, no matter which path they choose.  

 

2) When someone “comes out” they should be greeted with love, validation and hope, not a lecture on repentance or reminder of the Church’s stance on same-sex marriage  

 

3) Create a safe culture for the LGBTQ person. Express your love for a variety of members, including LGBTQ members.

 

One idea is to share what would happen if someone came to your office and shared they are queer. “I would thank you for trusting me enough to share, and recognize the courage it took to come here. I’d ask you, if you’re comfortable doing so, to share with me some about your journey up to this point. Then I’d ask if it’s alright if I give you a blessing. Then, regardless of if you wanted a blessing or not, I’m a hugger, so I’ll ask if it’s okay to give you a hug.”

 

4) Don’t use words like “struggling” or say they’ll be “fixed” in the resurrection   

 

5) Our Heavenly Parents love their LGBTQ children, we should give them unconditional love and support and recognize they will bless the lives of others

 

Even when telling them hard things, marginalized people always felt Jesus' love. Their encounters with Jesus left them with more dignity than when they started. As you interact with queermembers, this would be a worthy goal, to help them feel loved, uplifted and strengthened.  

 

6) LGBTQ individuals are more likely to be the victims of bullying and violence than any other minority group in the USA. Be on the lookout for youth or young adults who may be doing & saying unkind things.  

 

7) Know the signs of suicide and depression. LGBT people are at much higher risk. It’d be a good idea for youth leaders to have some training in this.

8) Encourage them to pray and ask if God loves them as they are 

9) Especially before or after lessons about marriage, say something like “I know there are people in this ward who cannot be married because of same-sex attraction or other reasons. I love you, and the Lord has a plan for you.”

10) Know that studies show that being active in the LDS church is often detrimental to the mental health and quality of life for LGBT people. For a person’s well-being, they may decide they need a break. Make sure they know they’re welcome to come back.

David Doyle's Blog  (https://nerdygaymormon.tumblr.com/post/159164583009/so-do-you-remember-the-guy-in-yesterdays-general)

 

Example of a video that David Doyle made of the stake presidency (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRMDXsobNls)

 

Example of video David Doyle created for Stake Youth Conference: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVhb0HQLGQA).

 

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If you would like some personal coaching on how to do this please sign up for a free consult with Jenie at Jenie Hunter Coaching www.jeniehuntercoaching.com.

For additional support and help please reach out to us on our IG accounts at Lift+Love and Jenie Hunter Coaching