Lift + Love

Episode 88 - “Creativity in Adapting to Change” J. Kirk Richards on the Gather Conference Mainstage 2025

Acclaimed artist J. Kirk Richards gives an unforgettable presentation, "Creativity in Adapting to Change" on the main stage of the 3rd annual Gather Conference in 2025.

Kirk speaks on creativity and adapting to change, using early Latter-day Saint history to show how dancing shifted from condemned to a sanctioned, even ritualized practice. He shares personal pain around narrow church messaging about families and how his marriage partner Amy and their children chose not to participate in church, while he maintains connection through playing organ, serving on LDS arts and academic boards, and creating new family Sunday rituals. Citing 1 Corinthians 13, he frames love as creative and adaptive, and explains how his art has signaled safety and support for LGBTQIA+ loved ones and communities, expressing hope that courage, creativity, and love will expand belonging in the future.

 

00:00 Meet J Kirk Richards

01:26 Creativity And Change

01:58 Mormon Dancing History

06:40 Adaptation In Faith

07:21 Family And Belonging

09:45 Love As A Practice

11:01 Painting Rainbow Witness

13:03 Hopeful Future Vision

14:05 Closing Thanks

 

About J. Kirk Richards:

"J Kirk Richards is a visual artist known for his work, addressing inclusive and religious themes. He's painted works for Encircle, for Lift and Love, and for  Flourish Therapy, and his work has been published in diverse church magazines, including the Liahona. He was born and raised in Provo, Utah. He earned a bachelor in visual arts at BYU, and for the last 25 years has worked full-time as a studio artist. In 2020, Kirk started JKR gallery in Provo, a community art gallery that hosts monthly themed artworks by emerging artists. He also started an art academy that teaches professional art skills to adults of many ages. Kirk and his marriage partner Amy have four creative children. They live in the mountainside town of Woodland Hills, Utah. One of the things I admire most about Kirk is that he pays it forward, that he makes a place to feature other artists. And when your success is growing, that seems like the time to pour more and more energy into what you're doing... and he has somehow made time to pour more and more energy into paving the way for others"

 

Learn more about J. Kirk Richards here: https://www.jkirkrichards.com/index.html

 

The Gather Conference (a Lift+Love event) is an annual conference held in Provo, Utah. Gather Conference is a Christ-centered gathering for LGBTQ+ Latter-day Saints and those who love them. The upcoming Gather Conference is November 13-14, 2026. Learn more about the Gather Conference here: www.gather-conference.com

Lift+Love provides faith-affirming and identity-affirming support and resources for Latter-day Saint individuals and their families, friends, leaders, and allies. Learn more about the Lift+Love Foundation here: www.liftandlove.org/about

An Undefended Heart - Bishop Karen P. Oliveto - Gather Conference 2025 - Lift+Love Podcast episode 87

On the mainstage of the 3rd annual Gather Conference, a live recording of Aubrey & Tim Chaves’ interview with Bishop Karen P. Oliveto. Tim and Aubrey Chaves grew up near Salt Lake City, Utah — and went to both high school and middle school together. Tim served a mission in Montevideo, Uruguay, before earning his undergraduate degree from BYU and an MBA from Harvard Business School. He is now an entrepreneur. Aubrey studied Elementary Education at Utah State and taught fourth grade before starting a cake decorating business. They are the parents of four children and serve on the executive board of _Faith Matters Foundation._ As co-hosts of the _Faith Matters_ podcast, Aubrey and Tim are passionate about creating honest, expansive, and thoughtful conversations around faith. Their LGBTQ+ allyship is at the heart of their commitment to cultivating spaces of deeper understanding, belonging, and love in their community. We are thrilled to welcome Bishop Karen Oliveto to Gather Conference! Through her life and writings, Bishop Oliveto offers grace-filled insights on how our shared commitment to following Jesus Christ can remain at the center of our relationships—even in the face of deep theological differences. Bishop Oliveto, now retired, served as a bishop of The United Methodist Church from 2016 to 2024, making history as the first openly LGBTQ+ bishop in the denomination. Previously, she was also the first woman to serve as senior pastor of one of the UMC’s 100 largest congregations. Her leadership and advocacy have earned national recognition. NBC named her one of 30 contemporary LGBTQ+ change-makers as part of their #Pride50 series, and the Center for American Progress recognized her as one of the Faith Leaders to Watch in 2021. She and her wife, Robin Ridenour, have been together for 25 years.   

Video version of this interview is available here: https://youtu.be/qK6UtFu7jb8

The Gather Conference (a Lift+Love event) is an annual conference held in Provo, Utah. Gather Conference is a Christ-centered gathering for LGBTQ+ Latter-day Saints and those who love them. Join us for Gather Conference 2026 November 13-14th in Provo, Utah. Learn more about the Gather Conference here: www.liftandlove.org/gather

Lift+Love provides faith-affirming and identity-affirming support and resources for Latter-day Saint individuals and their families, friends, leaders, and allies. Learn more about the Lift+Love Organization here: www.liftandlove.org/about

 

Episode hosts Darice Auston & Allison Dayton reflect on the impact of the "Guiding Principles for Local Leaders - Church Participation of Individuals Who Identify as Transgender" (published in 2024 by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as a supplement to General Handbook 38.6.23), and Darice shares what she's learned from statements gathered from other Latter-day Saint parents of transgender children. This is a hard, honest conversation about restricted participation, scrubbed references to gender-affirming care, wards torn apart over bathroom and quorum assignments, and the parents caught between what the handbook says and what they know their children need. It closes with a plea: speak up for the kids who are no longer sitting in the pews to speak for themselves. IN THIS EPISODE 00:00 — Gather Conference invite (Nov 13–14, Provo, Utah); intro to Lift+Love 01:00 — Setting up the conversation: the two-year anniversary of the transgender guiding principles 02:00 — Darice's approach: gathering impact statements from moms of trans kids nationwide 03:00 — The one word every parent used — humiliation 04:00 — How the guiding principles restrict participation: FSY, gendered camps, overnight pickup/drop-off requirements 05:00–07:00 — Gender-affirming care language quietly removed from the handbook; bishops positioned as counsel in place of mental health professionals 08:00 — "Fitting in is different from belonging" (Brené Brown); how policy gets confused with God's love in a young testimony 10:00 — What Darice heard from parents: most trans kids have stopped attending church — and parents feel relief 12:00 — The bind between following the handbook and protecting/providing for your child 13:00 — Allison Stewart's story: "I knew almost immediately I could not remain a member of the church" 14:00–15:00 — Jen Rollins on living in "the paradox and the wrestle" 16:00–18:00 — Non-binary and intersex people left out of the guiding principles entirely 19:00–20:00 — Choosing to stay and have faith despite pain caused by the institution 21:00–23:00 — Implementation on the ground: Relief Society vs. Elders Quorum confusion, a ward divided, a stake president who chose to disregard the policy 23:00–27:00 — Leaders without mental health training; gender markers changed on membership records without members' knowledge or consent; the only support number listed is a legal hotline 28:00–30:00 — What could be done differently: more local autonomy, trusting families and bishops over rigid policy 31:00–33:00 — Two camp stories: privacy for a questioning child, and a group of young men rallying around a trans peer 34:00–35:00 — Closing plea: speak up for trans kids who are no longer in the pews to speak for themselves; "we can be a bridge over troubled waters" KEY QUOTES "I knew that I would never join an organization that was openly anti-trans, so how could I remain part of one? ... I had to grieve that the church I had loved didn't love the people I loved." — Allison Stewart "As I revisit these events from nearly two years ago, the anger begins to rise again. ... Yet I remain in the paradox and the wrestle." — Jen Rollins "We are losing them — their spiritual gifts, their talents, what they bring to the body of Christ. What can we do to speak up for them in their absence?" — Darice Auston "They might say, 'Well this is how it is and God's laws are God's laws,' which I think is such a black and white view of something that somebody else has to navigate in the gray. I think it's very easy until it's in your family, it's in your lap, it's in your heart, and you're the one that's having to really go to the Savior with this and then negotiate what's happening at church." — Allison Dayton RESOURCES & MENTIONS Gather Conference — November 13–14, 2026, Provo, Utah. Registration open at www.liftandlove.org/gather Church handbook, section 38.6.23, "Individuals Who Identify as Transgender": https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/s... Transgender guiding principles PDF (linked from the handbook's transgender section): https://assets.churchofjesuschrist.or...

Understanding Trans Church Participation Policies (with David Smurthwaite) - Lift + Love Podcast episode 85

This special episode features our friend David Smurthwaite, who identifies as gender expansive and currently serves as the Director for Gather for Youth, the Gather Conference program for youth ages 14+.

David shares that after being released as a bishop and moving to France, he had space to process a long-repressed gender journey.

Along with episode hosts Allison Dayton and Darice Auston, David discusses the Church's transgender policies, including the handbook hyperlink and related PDF on the participation of individuals who identify as transgender, and the clarification defining gender as biological sex at birth and restrictions affecting names/pronouns, meeting and activity attendance, baptism approvals, overnight youth events, bathroom use, and adult callings and temple participation. They highlight the emotional and logistical burden on individuals and families, note some leaders’ “creative inclusivity” through seeking spiritual guidance, and express hope for more compassionate, flexible policies.

 

00:00 Gather Conference Invite & Podcast Mission Intro

00:44 Meet David Smurthwaite

01:23 Gender Expansive Identity

02:00 Coming Out After Bishop

04:46 Handbook Trans Link

06:24 Policy Changes Overview

10:12 Individual Impact Costs

14:04 Primary Kids Effects

17:51 Youth Restrictions FSY

20:34 Adult Limits Bathrooms

23:19 Aligning With God

26:32 Creative Local Inclusion

31:22 Hopeful Closing

Links to materials references in this episode: 

"Church Participation of Individuals Who Identify as Transgender GUIDING PRINCIPLES FOR LOCAL LEADERS - This document supplements the policy in General Handbook, 38.6.23, 'Individuals Who Identify as Transgender.' Its purpose is to help local leaders counsel with individuals and their families about certain aspects of Church participation. https://assets.churchofjesuschrist.org/1d/76/1d76991533df11efbaeeeeeeac1ed7e66fbf94a7/general_handbook_guiding_principles_for_local_leaders.pdf

You can find a complete directory of links to all LGBTQ-related statements and current policy information on the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints website on the Lift+Love website here

WATCH THE VIDEO VERSION OF THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBE HERE: https://youtu.be/x4k7H2J3WmE

If you are LGBTQIA+ or love someone who is, please consider joining us this November for the 4th annual Gather Conference in Provo, Utah. The conference is November 13-14th, 2026 with an optional opening social on November 12th. Gather is the largest ever Christ-centered conference for LGBTQ+ Latter-day Saints and those who love them. Adult and youth programs are available. This conference is for LGBTQIA+ adults and youth AND parents, spouses, other relatives, friends, allies, and leaders. Learn more at www.liftandlove.org/gather

 

"Beloved and Whole - Scripture, Eunuchs, and Belonging" A Conversation with Jared Lambert - Lift+Love Podcast Episode 84

Episode hosts Allison Dayton and Darice Auston talk with Jared Lambert, a scripture scholar and historical linguist and founder of Veiled Roots.

They discuss eunuchs in scripture as a lens for inclusion of marginalized people in faith communities. They discuss Isaiah’s teaching that eunuchs and foreigners belong in God’s house, the Ethiopian eunuch’s baptism in Acts 8, and Jesus’ remarks on eunuchs in Matthew 19, emphasizing the absence of condemnation and repeated patterns of inclusion. Allison shares a personal story connecting the term “eunuch” with her gay brother, leading to a lifetime of study. Jared discusses biblical references in Isaiah 56, Acts 8, and Matthew 19, notes the lack of condemnation of gender-nonconforming eunuchs in early Christian contexts, and critiques anachronistic readings. He introduces the Hebrew concept of “shema” as participatory revelation requiring individual and communal response, encouraging listeners to study and seek personal revelation.

01:23 Meet Jared Lambert

02:04 A Eunuch Story

04:46 Defining Eunuchs

06:01 Eunuchs in Scripture

07:23 Galli Priests Context

11:17 Matthew 19 Eunuchs

19:45 Shema and Revelation

23:09 Ancient Gender Categories

26:19 Isaiah 56 Inclusion

30:12 Modern Policy Tensions

30:57 Theophonic Trajectory

35:44 Social Media vs Community

36:58 Study and Personal Shema

Jared Lambert’s bio: Jared is a scripture scholar and linguist whose research focuses on the Hebrew Bible through historical linguistics, onomastics, and ancient Near Eastern cultural context. His work explores how language, temple structure, and narrative patterns reveal deeper theological architecture within the text, particularly around concepts of divine authority, priesthood, and relational understandings of the divine. He is a PhD candidate in History at Liberty University and holds degrees in History, International Affairs, Middle Eastern Studies, and Communications from the University of Utah and BYU–Idaho. Jared also trained as a linguist in the U.S. Army at the Defense Language Institute, where he specialized in Persian-Farsi and later served in multilingual analytical roles. He previously worked as a Supervising Linguist in the Sacred Materials Department for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, overseeing translation teams across global regions. He is the founder of Veiled Roots, a teaching platform and learning community dedicated to helping people return to scripture with greater depth, context, and clarity through ancient language and pattern-based study.

Website:

https://veiledroots.com

Course:

https://veiledroots.com/28-week-course/

Come Follow Me Membership: 

https://veiledroots.com/comefollowme/

Instagram: 

@jrichardlambert

https://www.instagram.com/jrichardlambert/

Youtube: 

@JRichardLambert 

https://www.youtube.com/@JRichardLambert

TikTok:

@jrichardlambert 

https://www.tiktok.com/@jrichardlambert

Facebook: 

JRichardLambert

https://www.facebook.com/jrichardlambert

 

The Lift+Love team invites you to join us for Gather Conference 2026 - the world's largest EVER Christ-centered conference for LGBTQ+ Latter-day Saints and their relatives, friends, allies, and leaders. This year's conference takes place in Provo Utah November 13-14th (plus an opening social on November 12th). We have programming for adults and youth (14+). Learn more and register at www.liftandlove.org/gather

 

Trust (and Other Tools for LGBTQ+ Parenting) with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife - Lift+Love Podcast episode 83

 

Episode hosts Allison Dayton and Darice Auston welcome Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, an LDS relationship and sexuality coach with a PhD in counseling psychology. She is the author of "That We Might Have Joy: Desire, Divinity, and Intimate Love", and the creator of six online courses that help individuals and couples create happier lives and stronger intimate relationships. She also hosts "Room for Two", a popular sex and intimacy podcast, and is a regular guest on LDS-themed podcasts discussing relationships, faith, and sexuality.

 

Allison, Darice, and Dr. Finlayson-Fife discuss practical tools for parents supporting LGBTQ+ children while remaining grounded in faith. She frames the challenge as “what does love ask of me?” - encouraging parents to shift from the letter of the law to the spirit of the law as a “measuring stick of love,” and to let go of ego-driven control. Finlayson-Fife emphasizes trust, communicating “I love you, I trust you,” educating oneself, and clarifying what is and isn’t a parent’s job—so children can thrive even on different paths. She addresses conflict in "mixed-affirmation" marriages, urging parents to seek a united front and use differences to expand perspective. For church conflict, she normalizes tension, counsels responding with love and humility, and staying true to conscience and stewardship.

 

00:00 Podcast Mission Intro

00:23 Meet Dr Jennifer Finlayson Fife

01:03 Parents Need Tools

02:05 Love Over Rules

05:56 Letting Go Of Control

11:41 Paradox And Growth

14:44 Love And Trust Kids

21:50 Know Your Job

25:38 Mixed-Affirmation Marriage

26:06 Dad Lag Dynamics

26:57 Compassion Versus Expectations

29:39 United Parenting Front

33:34 Overprotection And Growth

36:56 Church Conflict With Love

43:46 Integrity Over Conformity

45:44 Closing And Resources

 

Learn more about Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife here: https://www.finlayson-fife.com

Learn more about Lift and Love on our website here: www.liftandlove.org

We invite you to join us at the 4th annual Gather Conference this November 2026 - the world's largest Christ-centered conference for LGBTQ+ Latter-day Saints and those who love them. Learn more and register at www.liftandlove.org/gather

 

**CONTENT - mention of temple recommend interview, mention of temple endowment, mention of young adult dealing with depression related to suppressed homosexuality, brief general mention of the false belief that some people have that it's better to die sooner so that they can be "healed". If you or someone you know is experiencing depression, or is considering harming themself or someone else, please do not wait to get help. Contact 9-8-8 or 9-1-1 immediately.**

Well With My Soul - "Love is Bigger Than Fear" with Amie Steele Lift+Love Podcast  Episode 82

Amie Steele, author of the Substack “Well With My Soul,” joins episode hosts Allison Dayton and Darice Auston to discuss her family’s journey after her son Hunter disclosed he was gay following depression and therapy, and later her younger son Presley also came out, encouraged by how the family responded to Hunter. They talk about the common silence after coming out, the harm of shame, secrecy, and church messages that can damage mental and spiritual health, and the need for parents to open affirming conversations early. Amie describes how trying to fit her sons into a “perfect plan” led to painful questions about eternal families, and why she began writing to help others understand faith journeys aren’t simplistic. She shares a profound spiritual confirmation while Hunter and Jake looked at rings and recounts a stake president telling her she couldn’t receive inspiration outside church teachings, strengthening her resolve not to outsource parental stewardship; she notes ward members have often been supportive and celebrates Hunter and Jake’s flourishing marriage.

 

00:00 Meet Amie Steele

01:45 Hunter Comes Out

03:21 Opening The Conversation

04:12 Presley Shares Too

05:07 Creating Safe Space

08:12 Shame And Spiritual Harm

10:35 Faith Questions Emerge

14:15 Searching For Answers

17:42 Motherhood And Purpose

23:07 Journey Beyond Fear

26:40 Ring Store Revelation

28:09 Honesty With Leaders

31:34 Stewardship And Courage

35:38 Flourishing And Closing

 

Find Amie’s substack here: https://amiesteele.substack.com/

 

Find information about the Sanctuary documentary here: https://sanctuarydoc.com/

 

Learn more about Lift and Love on our website here: www.liftandlove.org

 

Divine Seeking - Declaration of Divinity Part 6 - Lift+Love Podcast Episode 81 

In this final episode of the 6-part Declaration of Divinity series, hosts Allison Dayton and Jenie Hunter  talk about divine seeking, asking for greater knowledge about the Lord's plan for his LGBTQ children.

Before we jump in, we want to remind you that registration is now open for the fourth annual Gather Conference, the world's largest Christ-centered conference for LGBTQ Latter-day Saints and those who love them, that will take place in Provo, Utah, this November.

Learn more about the 4th annual Gather Conference and get your early bird registration discount code on our website www.liftandlove.org/gather. Early bird registration discount codes valid through August 15th, 2026

 

 

 

In this fifth episode of the 6-part Declaration of Divinity series (ep 80), hosts Allison Dayton and Jenie Hunter discuss why there seem to be so many LGBTQ+ Latter-day Saints and how we can better understand and appreciate everyone's gifts in order to carry out the Lord's work. Before we jump in, we want to remind you that registration is now open for the fourth annual Gather Conference, the world's largest Christ-centered conference for LGBTQ Latter-day Saints and those who love them, that will take place in Provo, Utah, this November.

Learn more about the 4th annual Gather Conference and get your early bird registration discount code on our website www.liftandlove.org/gather. Early bird registration discount codes valid through August 15th, 2026

**EPISODE CONTENT - messages of shame and worthlessness that LGBTQ people hear, drug use, mentions of suicide and dying by suicide.**

In this fourth episode of the 6-part Declaration of Divinity series (ep 79), hosts Allison Dayton and Jenie Hunter discuss difficult topics, including the shame and pain that can be caused by messages heard at home, in the community, and even at church, and how these messages have impacted the lives of their own loved ones. 

 "As mothers, we assert that any message taught to our children should reassure them that they are beloved children of God and so entitled to all the blessings promised to his faithful children."

Learn more about the 4th annual Gather Conference and get your early bird registration discount code on our website www.liftandlove.org/gather. Early bird registration discount codes valid through August 15th, 2026